Outcome of your [ redacted ] application 2026
Dear Candidate,
Thank you for your interest in the [Phd] programme and for taking the time to submit your application. We sincerely appreciate the effort you put into your submission. After careful review of all applications during the shortlisting process, we regret to inform you that your application has not been selected for further consideration, and you will not be progressing to the interview stage.
The decision was not an easy one, as we received a large number of highly competitive applications this year.
...okay.
As soon as I got back to the house and turned on the computer, I was greeted with this. Before even opening it to see the details, I knew it was one of those stereotypical rejection emails simply by the subject line stating "Outcome of your [ redacted ] application 2026". If it was a positive outcome, they would've emailed me with something like "Invitation for interview".
Two years ago, I was applying for PhDs straight out of my undergrad, and getting met with...mixed results; but I was reassured that once I got my master's degree, it would be easier. I had even scored interviews and been selected as the second-best choice for one of the projects I was interested in at the time, and it gave me hope knowing that I'd be successful once I got some more experience at my MSc. Little did I know that the job market would become so shit that insanely overqualified individuals are competing with me and applying for PhDs. Genuinely speaking, it feels quite hopeless at present.
Okay, moping is over. I'm allowed to feel these feelings but also at the same time it goes against my rule of not trusting bad thoughts past 9 pm. And considering it's now 10 pm, I think I should shelve them for tomorrow. I can mull over these thoughts when I'm eating breakfast if it's that necessary.
I've been thinking about writing a blog for about as long as I've had unauthorised internet access (so, c. 2014). And, fueled by one of (soon to be many) PhD rejection emails, I figured that the present is no better time to start.
Something else to note: I'm pretty determined to master my Finnish, so at the end of every blog post I'm going to write a little bit suomeksi, even if it's just a few sentences. If you know Finnish, feel free to message me and correct my grammar (please, I am learning!).
I've been really enjoying my holiday off from work at the present. I've spent most of my time just taking in the sights and sounds around me, along with eating nice food and sleeping an obscene amount. It has given me quite a bit of time to reflect on burnout and the things that really matter to me in life. As much as I crave my career progression, all I truly want is stability. My finances are likely going to be in shambles for the rest of my life, but as long as I can enjoy the life I've worked so hard for, that's all that matters to me. PhDs, student loans, rejected applications, long working hours, visa applications, my silly self-image and self-imposed deadlines...they all weigh immensely on me. But I'm humbled reminding myself that all I can do is...all I can do. I live a rich life even with it's struggles. I may not be able to get rid of the bruises tarnishing my progress, but reminding myself that they'll heal is really all I can do. I have friends, a lovely support network, and things to look forward to.
(nyt suomen kieli)
Tänän menin junalla Pasilaan ja söin ruokaa kanssa Mummi ja hänen sauna siskot. He olivat mukavia mutta olin hermostunut puhumaan suomea. Sitten menin busilla Mustikkamalle ja käydä Sompasaunassa. Sompasauna on todella lumoava kokemus (vaikka siellä oli äksy mies). Olin rohkea ja hyppäsin Itämerellä (kahdesti!).
Until next time...
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